Untitled

I am now home and the countdown has ended. I am officially 30 years old. Not much has changed since last year, at least, that’s what I think.

From my perspective, I think I became more matured (maybe because of motherhood), I became more tolerant, and patient. Though I have always known that I am the type who will let small things pass, there just has to be times when enough is enough.

To put everything on the record, this blog post is a product of depression, and an outlet of frustration. I am going to rant on this special day because this is my day. Nobody can question me, and no one should dare contradict. Birthday ko. Hindi ng kahit na sino.

I intentionally removed my birthday from my facebook profile. I would rather be greeted by those who really knew me and not because they were only compelled by a birthday alarm. I am hoping that by removing so, it will no longer show up on all my friend’s board. Kung wala man maggreet, ok lang. No hard feelings.

I was also doing a countdown from the office. Just like what I would normally do on a regular day. Somebody greeted me in advance which made me temporarily happy. I told my husband that I will take the day off tomorrow, only to be answered with another question. Major bummer.

On my way home, I was anxious as there were reports of flooding and major traffic around the metro. I was also kind of hoping that my better half will be kind enough to send me a birthday message. Nada on that part. Naalimpungatan lang sandali and went back to slumber. Parang walang nangyari.

Anyway, seeing how the first hour of my birthday turned out, I am not hoping for something wonderful to happen. I understand the hubby has to work, the baby is still a baby, and funds are low. Being stuck in the house, as usual, is no longer surprising.

I must also say, depressed as I am now, I can’t help thinking kung bakit sa dinami dami ng araw sa isang taon, laging “supposedly” special day natataon yung ganitong disappointments. Am I expecting too much? Do I need to lower my expectation during occassions that matters? Parang nakakasawa lang din kasi.

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