i finally had the courage to talk to him.
i opened up my heart once more, trying to accept the fact that everything is really over.
i am confused as to why i cannot be consistent enough to hate someone who hurt me deeply. i gave him all his things back, including the gifts that he gave me (at least those i have kept). unfortunately, all the things are still packed in our living room, as he promised to take it the next day.
he is no longer the same mj that I knew, even way back in our training days. i cannot find the logic as to why he lost himself and in the process, found a different personality that kicked me out of his life.
this time, it’s for real. no more lies, no more denials, no more acting as if it does not hurt, because it does. and it hurts like hell.